Hot Mess. Stay At Home Mom. Mompreneur. Crunchy. Basic. Introvert. Anxious. Christian. Bubbly. Outgoing. Slut. Trailer Trash. Diva. Skinny Bitch. Worthless. Spoiled. Ugly.
All labels that I have either given to myself or others have given to me.
And the list goes on and on. It doesn’t even touch on all the labels I’ve encountered in my life.
Every single day we put ourselves in boxes. We try to conform. To fit in somewhere, to find our place in a group of similar people.
We want to find our tribe, our crew, our community.
And sometimes that means that we sacrifice. We sacrifice parts of WHO we are so we can fit in.
We allow the labels to define us, and the boxes to hold us hostage.
Growing up I was different. I lived in a small town, with a super strong religious culture.
I was a member too, but I was different because my parents were divorced. I lived with my Grandparents at one point. My mom worked outside the home.
I was the girl who didn’t fit the “norm”.
It continued into highschool. I wasn’t the “good” girl who did everything like I was supposed to. I challenged authority. Once or twice a year I skipped class to go swimming with boys (gasp). And I dated, and had steady boyfriends (something that was frowned upon).
So I didn’t fit in with the “good” crowd. The crowd that parents admired, and hoped their children would be a part of.
But here’s the thing. I wasn’t a “bad” kid either. I wasn’t a party animal. I didn’t break the law ( I always drove the speed limit – and balanced my checkbook.) So I didn’t really fit in there either.
I was stuck in a corner of a box…teetering between “good” and “bad”. I didn’t want to be either. I just wanted to be me.
But at 16 that is easier said than done. So I sacrificed parts of who I was, so that I would fit in. And no, I didn’t go to the dark side…in fact I went to the “good” side…or tried to.
I’m sure you are thinking great! I’m sure that rubbed off on you, and you turned out amazing. But the truth is, it didn’t do anything but cause confidence issues and a feelings of unworthiness.
Because every day I was reminded that I wasn’t “good” enough. That I didn’t belong.
When I should have instead just embraced WHO I was, because I was made to be that way.
I know so many women who struggle with labels and boxes. You might be looking at this post thinking, says the Hot Mess Mom…but guess what I gave myself that label…not because it’s who I am, but because I relate to it.
There are women out there who aren’t Hot Messes, and they feel bad because it’s not the trend.
But guess what? I haven’t been the trend my entire life. I have never fit the labels, and up until recently it was really hard on me.
I wanted to fit in so badly. But like good ol’ Dr. Seuss says, “Why fit in, when you were born to stand out.”
Allowing yourself to be contained in boxes, isn’t doing anyone a favor. You can be so many different things, without sacrificing who you truly are.
Break free of the labels. The ones you have given yourself and the ones you have allowed others to place on you.
Break free of the boxes that have held you prisoner and allow yourself to shine. You were given a light that was meant to be shared with the world. Don’t keep it dim, do not cover it up, light it up baby.
So no, I am not the Pinterest Mom, or the wildly successful Boss Babe. I’m not the Basic White Girl, or the Hot Mess Mom for that matter.
There is only one box that I will allow myself to fill, and that is the Makala box. The box that holds ALL the parts of who I am, and what I stand for.
It grows and shifts it shape a lot, but it’s my box and I will continue to reside there loving every single nook and cranny.